We've had William for eight days. That's all. It seems like much longer. He's beginning to feel like a natural extension of myself and Brent, and we can honestly say that we love him. It's an early love, but its present. This is the work of the Holy Spirit and of praying friends like you all.
I'm still struggling with how to interact with a sweet boy who loves to express himself but whose opinions and observations are meaningless to me. Brent helped me by reminding me that babies babble all the time as they develop. We don't understand it, but we respond and interact, question and joke. So Will is my two-year old baby who happens to babble in perfect Mandarin. :) It's really only hard when I need to explain something to him or reassure him of something. He is such a strong coper, I believe, because his foster mother explained everything fully to him without ever holding back or babying him. I cannot do that for him and so our actions seem arbitrary and that causes me anxiety. Example: Today it was time for Will to take a nap after a full morning of activity. We said the words for sleep and he began crying (a first since we've had him). We let him play for a few more minutes, but then I picked him up and laid him in his crib for his rest. World War broke out. Kicking, screaming at the top of his lungs, crying till his nose became a fountain of snot, etc... Tantrum city. He did not want to sleep and I had no language to assist me. Brent did go over to the crib and sternly say no several times and after about five minutes of hot, angry convulsions he fell asleep. The whole scenario was ugly and I hope it's not the new normal, but he's starting to test us and see what we're going to do when he exerts his preference and his will. He can't understand us and we can't understand him. I'm sure we are going to wrestle greatly with how to discipline him when we can't communicate well with him. Some behaviors need to be addressed from the start and so we're just blindly groping at how to calm his outbursts and yet still trust us. It's the messy side of adoption. One of many. I need patience. I need grace. When he's screaming and crying and can't tell me how he feels--I get angry. I feel like a failure. I want to quit. But his smiles and laughter outweigh the tantrums and this spurs me on. Eight days will soon be twelve which will soon be twenty which will turn into sixty etc...
On a lighter note--I've recorded some of the funnier things that have happened on our trip so that you can laugh along with us. What an adventure.
1. Chinese Waitress: (in perfect English)--"Do you speak Chinese?"
Me: "No. Do you speak English?"
Chinese Waitress: "No." Turns and walks away.
2. Chinese shop owner to Brent: "Ooooh your son looks just like you! "
Brent: ????????????
We think she just wanted us to spend more money in her shop!
3. Chinese hotel worker to me: "Oh is this your son? He looks very Chinese!"
Me: "He is Chinese."
Hotel worker: Looks confused.
** I wanted so badly to say, "Didn't you know what when two whites make a baby it somehow comes out Chinese?"
4. Brent said the Chinese word for pee pee when Will was preparing for his bath and was diaper-less. We were hoping he'd go to the potty as he is potty trained, but it's becoming undone. Instead, he assumed the Chinese squat position and was about to go right there on the hotel room carpet. Luckily, he was scooped up rather quickly. Mess avoided.
Keep smiling, right? Find the humor, right? We're trying.
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