First outing with Will

Yesterday we took Will to the Science and Technology museum for an outing. He was slow to warm up to the place and so requested that "Daddy carry". After a while, he did want to get down and play a little. We looked at robots and all kinds of interactive exhibits. We also paid to see a children's IMAX movie. We got all settled in and starting watching the show about animals. Dinosaurs appeared and other large creatures which I thought might scare him. I looked over and he was fast asleep! So much for that. We stayed until about noon and then went for lunch. The child can eat some serious fish!! It's his favorite food and he ate and ate and ate. I was so worried that he was going to be sick (he had been sick in our bed at 6am that morning). Thankfully, it all stayed put. I think his stomach is calming down a little. We saw so much more of his personality today--laughing and playing etc... We had a great day. Getting him to nap was hard. He cried and didn't want to go to sleep. Finally he fell asleep on me and I laid him down. Didn't sleep all that long, but I'll take it.
We thought we were in the clear as the sun set. NO TEARS. Things were really going great (despite crying all through bath time) when he caught sight of his backpack from the foster home laying on the couch. That was it. It tripped a tantrum--screaming, crying, swatting at us to get away from him. We couldn't touch him or hold him or even be on the bed with him. So we both moved to the couch and waited it out trying to say the few things we know in Mandarin to calm him. Eventually, he settled down and reached for us. The poor child is confused and he doesn't know what he wants. I gave him his hot milk bottle and turned on some cartoons and he got sleepy (thank goodness!)
When he was finally out in our bed, I just bawled my eyes out. I was prepared for this but being here and living it is so different. So hard. I began to get overwhelmed by it all--having four children, Will not speaking English and not wanting to sleep; Will not being able to stomach new things without vomitting everywhere. It's a lot to handle. Brent prayed a beautiful prayer and it calmed my spirits. I fell asleep crying and didn't sleep well because I just miss home and miss the children so much. I feel it will be easier to deal with in our own house with my support system around me. I have to keep telling myself that we have to put Will back together one little piece at a time. We've only had him a few days--it's a miracle he even comes to us at all!
Tomorrow I head to the orphanage alone to tour it and see where Will grew up. I'm also going to get to meet the foster family and speak with them We thought it best that Will not return for this trip even though EVERYONE here tells me it's healthier for him to return. I just can't go backwards and his love for his foster mom is so deep that I'm not sure he'd be able to get over saying goodbye a second time.
Please lift us up when you can. Love to you all.