We interrupt our regular Czech blogging.....

...to bring you a much needed adoption update. Many of you have asked us how our process is coming along and the answer is very well. All glory to God! Sure I have moments when I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have what it takes to do this. My reflection very quickly reveals that no, I don't. Because if I did--I wouldn't need Christ. He has to do this.
   Today we had a 70 minute pre-referral phone call with our agency. The purpose of this phone call was to discuss the realities of selecting a child with special needs and the transition process involved in bringing them home. I think I'm just now beginning to understand the extent of brokenness that these children have experienced. They have already suffered more loss and grief in their short little lives than I have known in my 33 years. Parts of their brains have never developed because they've had no one to rock them, cuddle them or hold them consistently. They've never had anyone sing to them or tell them they love them. Thus, they have learned to live from day to day in the fight or flight mode. They don't relax or release serotonin because their body chemistry is wired to expect loss and pain. Everyone they have ever known has abandoned them. Their brains have to be taught how to trust and they push you away just to see if you'll remain by their side. Can you imagine?
  The waiting children have needs deeper than just the emotional. They have physical issues that make them even less desirable to the average person. The children are categorized by physical defect and their medical abnormalities are listed and explained. They have a medical history that you can review and at the end the ultimate question is--do you want this child? Can you love this child flaws and all? It's difficult to scroll through these faces knowing that you cannot take them all.
   There are times when the entire process seems so bizarre..or does it? I mean, was I not born broken by the Fall and in need of restoration also? Doesn't my brain need re-training after the bumps and bruises of life have taught me that no one is trustworthy except my Lord? Isn't it my sin that continually pushes me away from God only to find that He's still in place? He always remains. I could be categorized and labeled too. Under my photograph it would read: selfish, judgmental, jealous, glory-stealing, self-righteous, critical--just to name a few defects. And the question is asked of our Lord: Do you want this child? Can you love this child? And He chose me. He adopted me for life. Suddenly the process seems familiar. I have a model in front of me who has already adopted time and time again--looking at the heart and beginning a new work.
    Tomorrow I speak with our social worker from AGI and she'll begin to look through the database of existing children and find a match for us both in the age range and with the disabilities we are willing to accept. When she's found someone that fits our desires, we'll be given a referral and the opportunity to accept or reject this child. Our greatest prayer is that we'll know if this is the right child for us and that the Lord will match us with the child that He picked for us before the foundation of the world. I don't know how we'll know...but I know we'll know.
 We are about to schedule our first in-house visit with our social worker. I'm a little nervous about that. People tell me to just be myself. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME NERVOUS! But all the concerns and anxieties and unknowns can be taken to my adopted Father. I can crawl in his lap of unconditional love and talk to Him. Adoption is a beautiful thing.
 We covet your prayers.