The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away--Part II

 "...shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?"

Job 2:10

The night of Dave's home coming, when the tears were still wet and my heart was so heavy....the phone rang. It was 10pm-- a time when my phone has usually silenced. I saw the name of our social worker appear on the caller i.d. and I knew. She had a referral for us. For months now we had been dreaming about the faceless child in China who we believed God had chosen for us. We'd worked tirelessly on paperwork (still are!), paid thousands in fees, and had our hearts kicked around all to culimate in the actual matching of child with family. Was it really happening now? This isn't how I pictured it. I could barely grip any threads of happiness to hoist up and place in my voice. I just stared at the phone. But I answered, didn't I? Of course. And I heard those words: "we have a little boy for you." In that moment it was possible for grief and joy to coexist. I wanted to know about that boy. Our boy?
We talked for a few moments and she then said she would email the photos and medical information for us to review and we had 48 hours to decide, act, and committ. I'd like to say that I patiently downloaded the narrative first to read about who this child is and what he's been through. But, I wanted to see his face and when that picture appeared on the screen my tears transformed and we both wept for joy.
 He is the sweetest little child you have ever seen. Big brown eyes. Beautiful dark hair and eyebrows. Pensive mouth. He's 15 months old with a diagnosis of mild cerebral palsy. To us, he's just perfect. He IS our boy.
 The next few days were spent in high-intensity fury as we gathered the neccessary documents to secure his adoption to us. It was secured the day we buried Dave's earthly body. Why connect such a joyous event to such a grievous one? Well, the buds push through near winter's end don't they? God reminded us of his faithfulness. God reminded us that He does know exactly what he's doing. He gives gifts even amidst times of sorrow. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
So now the journey continues. More paperwork. More money. More waiting. But at the end of it all, there's a face to this gift and God's promises stand all along the way. The master called a life in and sent forth a life all in the same day. We serve a mighty God whose ways can never be understood. Praise be for that.

The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away--Part I

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Job 1:21 

The past few weeks have been some of the hardest on the calendar. Our small congregation has lost four church members in three weeks....and it hurts. It really hurts. One of those dear people suddenly called to his Father's side was our friend, Dave Hudson. He was a sweet and gentle man who was deliberate in what he said, and intentional in what he did. As someone who can be so flippant in both word and deed, these were characteristics I so admired about Dave for it takes a tremendous amount of godliness and self-control.
Of course, Dave was a very godly man. We've known this family for about eight years, but the past few he and his wife (Claire) have sat at our dining room table nearly every Sunday evening. We've enjoyed fellowship with him as we shared a meal, studied God's word, and prayed. Everything he said and did was infused with a deep passion for the Lord which he wore on his face through his vibrant smile. I respected him and loved him.
So the day he met Jesus had more sorrow for me than it should have. It seemed that the joy of knowing he was safe in the Savior's presence was clouded by the grief of knowing his wife was broken hearted, his girls had lost their hero father, and our church had lost an elder, a teacher, a brother, a friend. There's that minute (or, more truthfully, sometimes longer than a minute) when you really wonder if God knew what he was doing when he took his servant home. What about those of us left behind?
I carried those thoughts around that first day as a I struggled to believe the reality of the matter. And then I thought of Job. Divinely, it was the book of Job that our group had decided to begin studying exactly one week before Dave's passing. The Lord knew. Now Job lost all of his children and upon hearing this he displayed all the expressions of grief. Isn't it wonderful that we have freedom to grieve? We can cry. We can pound our fists. We can ache from the very depths of our souls...freely. HOWEVER, Job also worshipped the Lord. He blessed the name of Jehovah. He submitted. He did not curse him or shout hasty words against God. He submitted and worshipped, knowing that God wills trials for his own reasons and believers are to trust.
 I'm clinging to that and his family is too. We will grieve knowing that tomorrow night he's not coming. His space will be empty. But instead of supping with us, He's supping at the ultimate table. He has seen Jesus, and that, my friends, takes my breath away.

Meet The Teacher Day and the Back to School Blues.

  Lunches are packed. Uniforms are pressed. Their backpacks are hanging up in the kitchen. I think we're finally ready for tomorrow. Physically. Emotionally? Not so much. We've had a wonderful summer of letting each day take us where it wanted to. It's been a stay in your pjs until nine kind of summer. It's been an ice cream before supper kind of summer. Now it's over. Sure there were days when I thought about calling the principal and seeing if she'd open up school just for my kids, but those days were rare. We really just loved being together and it's going to be hard to get back into the routine of getting up early, doing homework, and living for those weekends.
   It helps that the girls are super excited about school this year. Grace has finally arrived at kindergarten and she burst through the doors of school this morning like a little hurricane. She met her teacher and got to put her supplies in her desk. I think she squealed at least one hundred times. She's going to be a teacher's dream. She's very compliant, loves to help, and gets excited by everything. However, I've got money riding on tears this year. Heck, I've got money riding on tears tomorrow! She gets weepy saying goodbye to me and the first sign of discipline, the water works are going to flow. God bless her tender heart, though. It's one of the things I love most about her. My prayer for Grace is that she'll stand on her own with confidence, realizing that she doesn't have to please everyone. She just has to be Grace Perry.



Molly starts second grade tomorrow and she is very excited about the content this year. She gets to study rocks and minerals and she's a regular gemologist. We have books on the subject! She has a rock collection. She loves science, math, and history (what????) and tolerates reading (I need my heart meds). She's Brent Cobb shrunken down with bigger hair. Teachers love her exuberance. Her eyes dance at new concepts, but she's a head-strong little thing. My prayer for this year is that her heart will yield a little and that she'll accept my help, and my guidance. Both of us not crying during homework would be a plus too. Believe it or not, at seven, she does not know everything.

I'm excited about a new year too. I love the girls' teachers and it seems like they both have really sweet classmates. I always have lofty goals for the school year. Here are just a few.
1. I will NOT peel through the school parking lot at 7:55am and throw Molly and Grace at the front door.
2. I will only wear my "dress sweats" once a week.
3. I will pack the girls a healthy, nutritious snack .....sometimes. Are Swiss Cake Rolls nutritious?
4. Breakfast will be eaten at the table and not in the back of the mini-van.
5. I will read every school email and not claim that my "internet was down" when it's an email that asks me to do something.
6. I will not harbor ill thoughts towards the moms that volunteer for everything, bake their teachers fresh goodies, and scrapbook the entire school year.
7. I will not stab my eyes out with a pencil (no. 2 ofcourse) during homework time.
8. I will not roll my eyes when people see the girls in uniform and ask if we go to a Catholic school.
9. I will appear smarter than my children.
10.  I will remember that I am 33 and Molly is 7--not the other way around.

These are good goals, don't you think? I do have serious goals too like memorizing scripture with the children and praying for them more regularly throughout the day. I want to have more patience with them when doing homework. I need to remember G-R-A-C-E.  I receive it. I need to extend more of it.
  I'll be sure to post pictures tomorrow of the big first day. I know grandparents will be logging on if no one else :) Kiss your little ones tonight as you tuck them in bed. Thank God for His mercies and for fresh beginnings each day. Pray for your child's teacher. Sleep well knowing that our efforts are naught and He is everything.

Camp!

The first day of camp was kind of like my first day of kindergarten. Would they like me? Would I make friends? I WANT MY MOM!
I was nervous because I realized how totally inadequate I was to be doing what I was doing! However, I had prepared and now I needed the Holy Spirit to show up and take over. He was faithful to do just that. He helped me through that first day of teaching and a tremendous sigh of relief could be heard throughout the Czech Republic!

Here I am with my class. We had so much fun together!

 The lovable Sid Anderson was my translator. How I adore his dancing eyebrows and his sweet face which shines with the love of Jesus. He and his charming wife, Louise, have been serving with MTW in the Czech Republic for some eighteen years now. They love this country and they love the people. When they first arrived, Sid set out to demonstrate his love for the Czech people in the best way he knew how--by learning their language. He studied so hard to master the second most difficult language in the world (I believe Mandarin is only slightly harder?) The people have so much respect for him and say that his grammar is perfect which is just unbelievable. So I had an American translator speaking Czech and translating my English. Does that seem weird to anyone other than me? Sometimes Sid got so caught up in the class that he'd forget to translate their conversation to me. Other times, he'd turn to me and repeat it in Czech! Language camp does funny things to you! We had a wonderful week together. We felt like family--that's what the bond of Christ does. You have instant family all over the world.


 


Sid and Louise are set to leave Czech next year and return to their home state of Virginia. Sid hopes to continue building radio stations in Africa which will send the gospel message out over the air. He's a quiet genius.

Louise is a spunky, energetic little lady! We discovered a mutual LOVE of office supplies and stationary. Two women should not get so overjoyed about laminators and staplers. We could do some serious damage at Staples.

I also got to spend time with Hans and Gretchen, another amazing MTW couple who have been in Czech about eight years and are also set to leave next year and head home. Gretchen and I hit it off immediately. She has a quiet spirit, but is laugh-out-loud funny She can "pun" you death....and it's adorable. Hans has a demeanor which is just humble and kind. His face is gentle and loving and you can tell how deeply He loves the Lord. When he prays it's like a verbal love letter. They ran the administrative side of the camp which is quite a task. The campers love them and we do too!

Hans and Gretchen run a language school to enable Czechs to learn English. It's their passion and their ministry opportunity to spread the gospel.

 I think a few of you might remember these folks? What a blessing to spend time with our beloved friends Johnny and Annette. They are doing well, resting in the grace that covers them daily. Language school is tough and draining and they say as much. However, they are also quick to add that the Lord has been most merciful to them in their learning. It will come. Johnny led wonderful devotionals each morning and Annette was thrown in with the effervescent children. Who had the easier job there? :) It was so so good to see them both. With Johnny and Annette, no time passes between meetings. It's just like you saw them yesterday. I love that.



 Do pray for these dear ones. They need encouragement in the field.

I'm so thankful for these missionaries who answered the call and left all they had behind to follow Christ. Being around them made me realize that there's nothing really different between us.....except for one thing. They aren't super-spiritual  or ultra-theological. They're just obedient. The trip will end and I'll return to Caldwell Mill and take up my mission field. Can I be obedient to go and tell in my daily life?



We interrupt our regular Czech blogging.....

...to bring you a much needed adoption update. Many of you have asked us how our process is coming along and the answer is very well. All glory to God! Sure I have moments when I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have what it takes to do this. My reflection very quickly reveals that no, I don't. Because if I did--I wouldn't need Christ. He has to do this.
   Today we had a 70 minute pre-referral phone call with our agency. The purpose of this phone call was to discuss the realities of selecting a child with special needs and the transition process involved in bringing them home. I think I'm just now beginning to understand the extent of brokenness that these children have experienced. They have already suffered more loss and grief in their short little lives than I have known in my 33 years. Parts of their brains have never developed because they've had no one to rock them, cuddle them or hold them consistently. They've never had anyone sing to them or tell them they love them. Thus, they have learned to live from day to day in the fight or flight mode. They don't relax or release serotonin because their body chemistry is wired to expect loss and pain. Everyone they have ever known has abandoned them. Their brains have to be taught how to trust and they push you away just to see if you'll remain by their side. Can you imagine?
  The waiting children have needs deeper than just the emotional. They have physical issues that make them even less desirable to the average person. The children are categorized by physical defect and their medical abnormalities are listed and explained. They have a medical history that you can review and at the end the ultimate question is--do you want this child? Can you love this child flaws and all? It's difficult to scroll through these faces knowing that you cannot take them all.
   There are times when the entire process seems so bizarre..or does it? I mean, was I not born broken by the Fall and in need of restoration also? Doesn't my brain need re-training after the bumps and bruises of life have taught me that no one is trustworthy except my Lord? Isn't it my sin that continually pushes me away from God only to find that He's still in place? He always remains. I could be categorized and labeled too. Under my photograph it would read: selfish, judgmental, jealous, glory-stealing, self-righteous, critical--just to name a few defects. And the question is asked of our Lord: Do you want this child? Can you love this child? And He chose me. He adopted me for life. Suddenly the process seems familiar. I have a model in front of me who has already adopted time and time again--looking at the heart and beginning a new work.
    Tomorrow I speak with our social worker from AGI and she'll begin to look through the database of existing children and find a match for us both in the age range and with the disabilities we are willing to accept. When she's found someone that fits our desires, we'll be given a referral and the opportunity to accept or reject this child. Our greatest prayer is that we'll know if this is the right child for us and that the Lord will match us with the child that He picked for us before the foundation of the world. I don't know how we'll know...but I know we'll know.
 We are about to schedule our first in-house visit with our social worker. I'm a little nervous about that. People tell me to just be myself. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME NERVOUS! But all the concerns and anxieties and unknowns can be taken to my adopted Father. I can crawl in his lap of unconditional love and talk to Him. Adoption is a beautiful thing.
 We covet your prayers.

 

Lost in the City of Golden Spires

   Prague. When we finally stepped out of the airport into the fresh, cool air of Prague it was like my body was instantly hydrated. The clammy humidity of the south and those scorching temperatures were left behind and I took in a deep breath of clean, crisp air. Immediately I was caught up in the swirl of Europe, hearing many languages spoken and seeing outfits that left me quizzical. Ah, Europe. Anything goes. It's kind of a relief, really. You're just free to be you. While it's certainly evident that such freedom has led to questionable morality, it is nice, however, to know that no one is looking at you as though you're different. Everyone is different. Whether it's a melting pot, salad, or any other analogy for diversity-- Europe is just made up of different looking, different sounding people. It was refreshing.
   So off we go, the American-looking team with their cameras in tow and their southern drawls trailing, to get the rental van. By now we've been awake for some 6,000 hours so what better time to drive in a foreign country? Kathy assumes the co-pilot position with navigation tools (i.e a google map) in place. I'm quick to note that the traffic signs are different. I don't recognize the symbols. The street and interstate signs are in Czech obviously. Guess what? We speak English in Alabama (well, some derivative of it anyhow). We successfully (miraculously) exit the airport area and find ourselves headed to the hotel in downtown Prague.     
   It gets a little sketchy from there. Karl invents his own meaning for the road signs and we keep going. I'm suddenly thinking about the negative stereotypes of American drivers and I come up with the conclusion that they are unfounded....compared to European drivers. It appears that 80mph is going slowly. Cars zip and turn and zag and swerve leaving only enough space to put a penney between you and other vehicle. Karl is hanging with the big boys, though and we're making progress.
   As we get closer to downtown Prague, the landscape begins to morph into a palatte of red roofs and lush trees. Spires stick up like hands in the air telling us we're heading in the right direction. Everything is so beautifully old and unique. As the city walls close in, the roads get tighter and more uneven with centuries of well-travelled cobblestones. There are still the same amount of maniac cars, but less space!  Now it's kind of like riding on a carousel. We're going around and around, but we don't know how we got on or where we get off. Road construction, one-way roads, and just general unfamiliarity lead to a slight (3 hr) detour, but if you're going to be lost anywhere......Prague is the place. Here's what you see when lost in the city of golden spires.

Not bad. It's like we stepped back in time. I'd forgotten what it was like to look at such amazing architecture and to remember that it is all the handiwork of God! Yes, it was designed by mere man and built with human hands, but God was the master architect of the brains behind the blocks. Stunning.

My favorite thing to see was the beautiful flower boxes cascading absolutely everywhere. Everything grows in this Garden of Eden climate. Building after building had applied the red-lipstick of geranimums like a kiss to an envelope. I couldn't get enough of it.

   We got some excellent directions and were headed in the right direction when we saw the beauty mark of Prague---the Charles's Bridge and Prague Castle. It's gasp-worthy. I so wished my girls had been with me, for it looked like a scene from the fairytales we read at night. Grace had asked that I be on the look-out for unicorns when she heard that there are real castles in the Czech Republic. No unicorns, but a sight to behold none-the-less.

Does this look like Hwy 280? I think not!

  We found our hotel nestled within the nooks and cranies of Prague and settled in. It was only mid-day in Prague so we had to keep going until evening to get our bodies adjusted. We set out on foot exploring. Pinch me! Am I really in Prague and not Publix????????? Am I truly only responsible for myself at this moment in time? Now insert unrealistic notions about mission trips. I'm thinking THIS IS GREAT! :)

   What a gift. Yes, I did get to be selfish these first few days. I got my eyes more widely opened to the world that God created --and I realized that an insignificant speck I am.  I got a break from serving my family and was able to simply behold. I got uniterrupted time with friends and the chance to enjoy deep conversation. What a delight. I got to stand on the ancient cobbled streets of Prague and say, "What a mighty God we serve."

Representing the United States of America.....

    I've never really been part of a team. I didn't play sports as a youngster (and the world is grateful). I've always worked well with others, but being part of a team is different. A level of trust and intimacy exists. Being part of a team calls for sacrifice as you seek to achieve the team goal, and not your own personal agenda.  The team members are key.
 There's no doubt that the Lord put our team together beautifully. I've known all but one on our team for quite some time,. However, a 13 day mission experience allows you to know people differently. Essentially, we were together almost 24 hours per day. Heck, it allowed me to know myself differently!!
Each team member served me in wonderfully different ways and I got to appreciate so many things about these individuals. It was as if God held up a magnifying glass to their character and allowed me to see them more clearly. Here are my impressions:
Karl: Short on words. Long on grins. He led the team with a quiet confidence and I'm so grateful for his leadership and faithful prayer. It's a lot of responsibility to book flights, reserve hotels, reserve a rental car, DRIVE that rental car in a foreign country, account for meals, and all the details that come with managing a seven person team. There's no need to write about our three hour "detour" in Prague because you're gonna hear about it, but even in the most tense of times, Karl was as calm as ever. That's why he's team leader. The fact that my hair was falling out at the root due to stress is the reason why I'm NOT team leader. He's quietly funny and sports a vest with great panache....every single day. You know Mary Poppin's famous carpet bag? Well, Karl too can pull a lamp out of a small zippered vest pocket. Amazing! He was chivalrous in carrying my bags for me (Brenda too) so that my back would endure the trip. In short, much of the trip's smoothness can be attributed to him. He's simply delightful.
Brenda: I learned that Brenda's pure sweetness transfers across the Atlantic Ocean as easily as the Boeing 747 did. She is beautiful in the morning. No lie! She sympathesized with me while I sniffled in the back of the car on the way to the airport and just let me be. She's a mom. She understands. She focuses 100% on you while you're speaking as if you're the most important person in the world at that moment. It's like having your own personal cheerleader. She makes me feel better about how much I have to go to the bathroom because she'll always go with me. She's a rather adventurous eater. Pheasant wouldn't have been my first choice at a restaurant. She handled all those little foreign-language speaking cherubs at camp with the same enthusiasm and love that she uses with our own covenant children. Not everyone can work with children in that way. I so admire her.
Kathy: Having Kathy on this trip made me feel so much better because she too was leaving behind her two children. ( I can't tell you how much I admire Kevin and Rebecca Giadrosich for taking Mina and Sam so that Kathy could serve on this trip. It just goes to show that the body can support missions in many different ways. ) This girl can read a map like James Spann can report the weather. Considering I can barely turn on my Garmin--I was in awe. She is very very bright. Not just book smart, but very resourceful. logical, and practical. I bet she was a girl scout. She has the straightest, whitest teeth of anyone I know...and I'm envious. She packed one little bag for the entire trip. I was envious of that too! She is organized and planned lessons for camp that I wish I had heard. I bet she's a wonderfully imaginative and creative teacher for her young students at home. If you're afraid of flying and you find yourself sitting next to Kathy Webster. Ring your in-flight service button and have your seat changed. Enough said. Lastly, she must be a saint. She managed to room with me for many days and let me hog the mirror.
Geny-Kate: Sweet, vibrant Geny-Kate. She's sort of the symbol of what I once was (as she kept reminding me!) She can read a street-sign while the rest of us are squinting to see a building! She's very perceptive--notices little details that just go completely unnoticed by me. She spent the equivalent of a Czech's annual salary on Kofola. Her energy never runs out and she can function beautifully on very little sleep (again, a reminder of who I am not!) She's a very considerate and thoughtful person. She doesn't snore. She has beautiful hair immediately after washing it and that's just wrong. She's a child magnet. They run to her and love her. However, she'll probably never have children after hearing some of the things I shared when I forgot she was around. Hopefully therapy can undo that. What I love most about GK is her passion for Christ which she wears blazen across her face! The girl loves the Lord and wants to serve Him. I know she's going to do great things for the kingdom and I can't wait to watch and see what the Lord does through her. Thank you for rooming with me, GK. Even though I'll never be as cool as you, I can dream.
Ruth: One of the smartest women I know. She thinks before she speaks and crafts her words beautifully. She doesn't throw language away. She wears dignity and poise like Audrey Hepburn wore that famous black dress. I love the way she carries herself. For such a slight-built woman, I have no idea how she houses such an enormous heart. She loves deeply and she loves well. She's genuine. Her love for the Czech people is so tangible. It's such a beautiful picture of how Christ's love in us creates the ability for us to love others. She's a rock solid friend. She carries dental floss around in her purse and when spinach took up residence in my teeth, I was grateful for her forethought. When she plays the piano it's like a sermon without words. Sharing this trip with her was an enormous gift.
Patti: Another ridiculously smart woman; a good thinker. Everything about Patti is soft like you could just nestle up beside her and rest. She has a beautifully musical voice that I so enjoy listening to. I bet she was wonderful at reading bed-time stories to her children. She has an aire of confidence about her that is in no way arrogant. She looks beautiful in turquoise. Had it not been for her i-phone, my family would never have heard from me. Her level of committment to the Czechs is so admirable. She's been coming on this trip for seven years now and the people love her. I can see why. She's easy to love.
Sandy: I met Sandy for the first time in the Atlanta airport as we hooked up for the main leg of the journey. I believe this is Sandy's fifth year to come on this trip. She comes on her own--driven by a love for the Czech people, but mostly a love for the Lord. She's one of "those" people. Good at absolutely everything she tries. Not just good, but excells at everything she tries. NOT FAIR! She's a history professor so we got bonus information that you're just not going to find in a brochure about Prague. She's very adventurous--doesn't seem intimidated to jump into another country/culture. She travels a great deal. She used to be a professional chef. I feel I can use that to my advantage some time in the future. She plays classical piano in a way that will make you cry...did make me cry. She's fun to watch while playing games. Sandy, what animal were you? I hope to get to know her better. I hope to be with her next year on the same trip.

Thank you, team, for showing yourselves to me as you really are. I was so blessed by being with you all. You all are like family now.