Camp!

The first day of camp was kind of like my first day of kindergarten. Would they like me? Would I make friends? I WANT MY MOM!
I was nervous because I realized how totally inadequate I was to be doing what I was doing! However, I had prepared and now I needed the Holy Spirit to show up and take over. He was faithful to do just that. He helped me through that first day of teaching and a tremendous sigh of relief could be heard throughout the Czech Republic!

Here I am with my class. We had so much fun together!

 The lovable Sid Anderson was my translator. How I adore his dancing eyebrows and his sweet face which shines with the love of Jesus. He and his charming wife, Louise, have been serving with MTW in the Czech Republic for some eighteen years now. They love this country and they love the people. When they first arrived, Sid set out to demonstrate his love for the Czech people in the best way he knew how--by learning their language. He studied so hard to master the second most difficult language in the world (I believe Mandarin is only slightly harder?) The people have so much respect for him and say that his grammar is perfect which is just unbelievable. So I had an American translator speaking Czech and translating my English. Does that seem weird to anyone other than me? Sometimes Sid got so caught up in the class that he'd forget to translate their conversation to me. Other times, he'd turn to me and repeat it in Czech! Language camp does funny things to you! We had a wonderful week together. We felt like family--that's what the bond of Christ does. You have instant family all over the world.


 


Sid and Louise are set to leave Czech next year and return to their home state of Virginia. Sid hopes to continue building radio stations in Africa which will send the gospel message out over the air. He's a quiet genius.

Louise is a spunky, energetic little lady! We discovered a mutual LOVE of office supplies and stationary. Two women should not get so overjoyed about laminators and staplers. We could do some serious damage at Staples.

I also got to spend time with Hans and Gretchen, another amazing MTW couple who have been in Czech about eight years and are also set to leave next year and head home. Gretchen and I hit it off immediately. She has a quiet spirit, but is laugh-out-loud funny She can "pun" you death....and it's adorable. Hans has a demeanor which is just humble and kind. His face is gentle and loving and you can tell how deeply He loves the Lord. When he prays it's like a verbal love letter. They ran the administrative side of the camp which is quite a task. The campers love them and we do too!

Hans and Gretchen run a language school to enable Czechs to learn English. It's their passion and their ministry opportunity to spread the gospel.

 I think a few of you might remember these folks? What a blessing to spend time with our beloved friends Johnny and Annette. They are doing well, resting in the grace that covers them daily. Language school is tough and draining and they say as much. However, they are also quick to add that the Lord has been most merciful to them in their learning. It will come. Johnny led wonderful devotionals each morning and Annette was thrown in with the effervescent children. Who had the easier job there? :) It was so so good to see them both. With Johnny and Annette, no time passes between meetings. It's just like you saw them yesterday. I love that.



 Do pray for these dear ones. They need encouragement in the field.

I'm so thankful for these missionaries who answered the call and left all they had behind to follow Christ. Being around them made me realize that there's nothing really different between us.....except for one thing. They aren't super-spiritual  or ultra-theological. They're just obedient. The trip will end and I'll return to Caldwell Mill and take up my mission field. Can I be obedient to go and tell in my daily life?



We interrupt our regular Czech blogging.....

...to bring you a much needed adoption update. Many of you have asked us how our process is coming along and the answer is very well. All glory to God! Sure I have moments when I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I have what it takes to do this. My reflection very quickly reveals that no, I don't. Because if I did--I wouldn't need Christ. He has to do this.
   Today we had a 70 minute pre-referral phone call with our agency. The purpose of this phone call was to discuss the realities of selecting a child with special needs and the transition process involved in bringing them home. I think I'm just now beginning to understand the extent of brokenness that these children have experienced. They have already suffered more loss and grief in their short little lives than I have known in my 33 years. Parts of their brains have never developed because they've had no one to rock them, cuddle them or hold them consistently. They've never had anyone sing to them or tell them they love them. Thus, they have learned to live from day to day in the fight or flight mode. They don't relax or release serotonin because their body chemistry is wired to expect loss and pain. Everyone they have ever known has abandoned them. Their brains have to be taught how to trust and they push you away just to see if you'll remain by their side. Can you imagine?
  The waiting children have needs deeper than just the emotional. They have physical issues that make them even less desirable to the average person. The children are categorized by physical defect and their medical abnormalities are listed and explained. They have a medical history that you can review and at the end the ultimate question is--do you want this child? Can you love this child flaws and all? It's difficult to scroll through these faces knowing that you cannot take them all.
   There are times when the entire process seems so bizarre..or does it? I mean, was I not born broken by the Fall and in need of restoration also? Doesn't my brain need re-training after the bumps and bruises of life have taught me that no one is trustworthy except my Lord? Isn't it my sin that continually pushes me away from God only to find that He's still in place? He always remains. I could be categorized and labeled too. Under my photograph it would read: selfish, judgmental, jealous, glory-stealing, self-righteous, critical--just to name a few defects. And the question is asked of our Lord: Do you want this child? Can you love this child? And He chose me. He adopted me for life. Suddenly the process seems familiar. I have a model in front of me who has already adopted time and time again--looking at the heart and beginning a new work.
    Tomorrow I speak with our social worker from AGI and she'll begin to look through the database of existing children and find a match for us both in the age range and with the disabilities we are willing to accept. When she's found someone that fits our desires, we'll be given a referral and the opportunity to accept or reject this child. Our greatest prayer is that we'll know if this is the right child for us and that the Lord will match us with the child that He picked for us before the foundation of the world. I don't know how we'll know...but I know we'll know.
 We are about to schedule our first in-house visit with our social worker. I'm a little nervous about that. People tell me to just be myself. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME NERVOUS! But all the concerns and anxieties and unknowns can be taken to my adopted Father. I can crawl in his lap of unconditional love and talk to Him. Adoption is a beautiful thing.
 We covet your prayers.

 

Lost in the City of Golden Spires

   Prague. When we finally stepped out of the airport into the fresh, cool air of Prague it was like my body was instantly hydrated. The clammy humidity of the south and those scorching temperatures were left behind and I took in a deep breath of clean, crisp air. Immediately I was caught up in the swirl of Europe, hearing many languages spoken and seeing outfits that left me quizzical. Ah, Europe. Anything goes. It's kind of a relief, really. You're just free to be you. While it's certainly evident that such freedom has led to questionable morality, it is nice, however, to know that no one is looking at you as though you're different. Everyone is different. Whether it's a melting pot, salad, or any other analogy for diversity-- Europe is just made up of different looking, different sounding people. It was refreshing.
   So off we go, the American-looking team with their cameras in tow and their southern drawls trailing, to get the rental van. By now we've been awake for some 6,000 hours so what better time to drive in a foreign country? Kathy assumes the co-pilot position with navigation tools (i.e a google map) in place. I'm quick to note that the traffic signs are different. I don't recognize the symbols. The street and interstate signs are in Czech obviously. Guess what? We speak English in Alabama (well, some derivative of it anyhow). We successfully (miraculously) exit the airport area and find ourselves headed to the hotel in downtown Prague.     
   It gets a little sketchy from there. Karl invents his own meaning for the road signs and we keep going. I'm suddenly thinking about the negative stereotypes of American drivers and I come up with the conclusion that they are unfounded....compared to European drivers. It appears that 80mph is going slowly. Cars zip and turn and zag and swerve leaving only enough space to put a penney between you and other vehicle. Karl is hanging with the big boys, though and we're making progress.
   As we get closer to downtown Prague, the landscape begins to morph into a palatte of red roofs and lush trees. Spires stick up like hands in the air telling us we're heading in the right direction. Everything is so beautifully old and unique. As the city walls close in, the roads get tighter and more uneven with centuries of well-travelled cobblestones. There are still the same amount of maniac cars, but less space!  Now it's kind of like riding on a carousel. We're going around and around, but we don't know how we got on or where we get off. Road construction, one-way roads, and just general unfamiliarity lead to a slight (3 hr) detour, but if you're going to be lost anywhere......Prague is the place. Here's what you see when lost in the city of golden spires.

Not bad. It's like we stepped back in time. I'd forgotten what it was like to look at such amazing architecture and to remember that it is all the handiwork of God! Yes, it was designed by mere man and built with human hands, but God was the master architect of the brains behind the blocks. Stunning.

My favorite thing to see was the beautiful flower boxes cascading absolutely everywhere. Everything grows in this Garden of Eden climate. Building after building had applied the red-lipstick of geranimums like a kiss to an envelope. I couldn't get enough of it.

   We got some excellent directions and were headed in the right direction when we saw the beauty mark of Prague---the Charles's Bridge and Prague Castle. It's gasp-worthy. I so wished my girls had been with me, for it looked like a scene from the fairytales we read at night. Grace had asked that I be on the look-out for unicorns when she heard that there are real castles in the Czech Republic. No unicorns, but a sight to behold none-the-less.

Does this look like Hwy 280? I think not!

  We found our hotel nestled within the nooks and cranies of Prague and settled in. It was only mid-day in Prague so we had to keep going until evening to get our bodies adjusted. We set out on foot exploring. Pinch me! Am I really in Prague and not Publix????????? Am I truly only responsible for myself at this moment in time? Now insert unrealistic notions about mission trips. I'm thinking THIS IS GREAT! :)

   What a gift. Yes, I did get to be selfish these first few days. I got my eyes more widely opened to the world that God created --and I realized that an insignificant speck I am.  I got a break from serving my family and was able to simply behold. I got uniterrupted time with friends and the chance to enjoy deep conversation. What a delight. I got to stand on the ancient cobbled streets of Prague and say, "What a mighty God we serve."

Representing the United States of America.....

    I've never really been part of a team. I didn't play sports as a youngster (and the world is grateful). I've always worked well with others, but being part of a team is different. A level of trust and intimacy exists. Being part of a team calls for sacrifice as you seek to achieve the team goal, and not your own personal agenda.  The team members are key.
 There's no doubt that the Lord put our team together beautifully. I've known all but one on our team for quite some time,. However, a 13 day mission experience allows you to know people differently. Essentially, we were together almost 24 hours per day. Heck, it allowed me to know myself differently!!
Each team member served me in wonderfully different ways and I got to appreciate so many things about these individuals. It was as if God held up a magnifying glass to their character and allowed me to see them more clearly. Here are my impressions:
Karl: Short on words. Long on grins. He led the team with a quiet confidence and I'm so grateful for his leadership and faithful prayer. It's a lot of responsibility to book flights, reserve hotels, reserve a rental car, DRIVE that rental car in a foreign country, account for meals, and all the details that come with managing a seven person team. There's no need to write about our three hour "detour" in Prague because you're gonna hear about it, but even in the most tense of times, Karl was as calm as ever. That's why he's team leader. The fact that my hair was falling out at the root due to stress is the reason why I'm NOT team leader. He's quietly funny and sports a vest with great panache....every single day. You know Mary Poppin's famous carpet bag? Well, Karl too can pull a lamp out of a small zippered vest pocket. Amazing! He was chivalrous in carrying my bags for me (Brenda too) so that my back would endure the trip. In short, much of the trip's smoothness can be attributed to him. He's simply delightful.
Brenda: I learned that Brenda's pure sweetness transfers across the Atlantic Ocean as easily as the Boeing 747 did. She is beautiful in the morning. No lie! She sympathesized with me while I sniffled in the back of the car on the way to the airport and just let me be. She's a mom. She understands. She focuses 100% on you while you're speaking as if you're the most important person in the world at that moment. It's like having your own personal cheerleader. She makes me feel better about how much I have to go to the bathroom because she'll always go with me. She's a rather adventurous eater. Pheasant wouldn't have been my first choice at a restaurant. She handled all those little foreign-language speaking cherubs at camp with the same enthusiasm and love that she uses with our own covenant children. Not everyone can work with children in that way. I so admire her.
Kathy: Having Kathy on this trip made me feel so much better because she too was leaving behind her two children. ( I can't tell you how much I admire Kevin and Rebecca Giadrosich for taking Mina and Sam so that Kathy could serve on this trip. It just goes to show that the body can support missions in many different ways. ) This girl can read a map like James Spann can report the weather. Considering I can barely turn on my Garmin--I was in awe. She is very very bright. Not just book smart, but very resourceful. logical, and practical. I bet she was a girl scout. She has the straightest, whitest teeth of anyone I know...and I'm envious. She packed one little bag for the entire trip. I was envious of that too! She is organized and planned lessons for camp that I wish I had heard. I bet she's a wonderfully imaginative and creative teacher for her young students at home. If you're afraid of flying and you find yourself sitting next to Kathy Webster. Ring your in-flight service button and have your seat changed. Enough said. Lastly, she must be a saint. She managed to room with me for many days and let me hog the mirror.
Geny-Kate: Sweet, vibrant Geny-Kate. She's sort of the symbol of what I once was (as she kept reminding me!) She can read a street-sign while the rest of us are squinting to see a building! She's very perceptive--notices little details that just go completely unnoticed by me. She spent the equivalent of a Czech's annual salary on Kofola. Her energy never runs out and she can function beautifully on very little sleep (again, a reminder of who I am not!) She's a very considerate and thoughtful person. She doesn't snore. She has beautiful hair immediately after washing it and that's just wrong. She's a child magnet. They run to her and love her. However, she'll probably never have children after hearing some of the things I shared when I forgot she was around. Hopefully therapy can undo that. What I love most about GK is her passion for Christ which she wears blazen across her face! The girl loves the Lord and wants to serve Him. I know she's going to do great things for the kingdom and I can't wait to watch and see what the Lord does through her. Thank you for rooming with me, GK. Even though I'll never be as cool as you, I can dream.
Ruth: One of the smartest women I know. She thinks before she speaks and crafts her words beautifully. She doesn't throw language away. She wears dignity and poise like Audrey Hepburn wore that famous black dress. I love the way she carries herself. For such a slight-built woman, I have no idea how she houses such an enormous heart. She loves deeply and she loves well. She's genuine. Her love for the Czech people is so tangible. It's such a beautiful picture of how Christ's love in us creates the ability for us to love others. She's a rock solid friend. She carries dental floss around in her purse and when spinach took up residence in my teeth, I was grateful for her forethought. When she plays the piano it's like a sermon without words. Sharing this trip with her was an enormous gift.
Patti: Another ridiculously smart woman; a good thinker. Everything about Patti is soft like you could just nestle up beside her and rest. She has a beautifully musical voice that I so enjoy listening to. I bet she was wonderful at reading bed-time stories to her children. She has an aire of confidence about her that is in no way arrogant. She looks beautiful in turquoise. Had it not been for her i-phone, my family would never have heard from me. Her level of committment to the Czechs is so admirable. She's been coming on this trip for seven years now and the people love her. I can see why. She's easy to love.
Sandy: I met Sandy for the first time in the Atlanta airport as we hooked up for the main leg of the journey. I believe this is Sandy's fifth year to come on this trip. She comes on her own--driven by a love for the Czech people, but mostly a love for the Lord. She's one of "those" people. Good at absolutely everything she tries. Not just good, but excells at everything she tries. NOT FAIR! She's a history professor so we got bonus information that you're just not going to find in a brochure about Prague. She's very adventurous--doesn't seem intimidated to jump into another country/culture. She travels a great deal. She used to be a professional chef. I feel I can use that to my advantage some time in the future. She plays classical piano in a way that will make you cry...did make me cry. She's fun to watch while playing games. Sandy, what animal were you? I hope to get to know her better. I hope to be with her next year on the same trip.

Thank you, team, for showing yourselves to me as you really are. I was so blessed by being with you all. You all are like family now.

 

 

So long control....for now.

   It wasn't easy walking out the door that morning. My head told me to turn around and run back inside and embrace my children. To stay home and let someone else go. My heart, however, gave action to my feet and I managed to walk out into the sunlight. I knew I was supposed to go and the wondrous thing about having prayed and prayed about a decision--is that you are able to obey with the assurance that God has prepared the way. And oh, how He prepared the way.
   The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach was still present at the airport. It was the feeling of having my fingers forcefully pried open--my grip broken. I've always felt calm and secure when in control (well, when seemingly in control). How humorous that I believe I am controlling my childrens' safety. How egotistical that I believe no one else can run my house or do all I do as efficiently. Anxiety started to swell inside of me and I shouted the "what-ifs" away. Keep walking.
   In Atlanta I began to panic about the miles between myself and my family. "Just tell me we're going to South-Dakota," I humorously chided to Geny-Kate, as if proximity can shield oneself from disaster. Get on the plane! As we took off on the 9 hour flight to Prague, I closed my eyes and began to pray. I acknowledged that I know no control in any area of my life. I repeated Isaiah 26:3, a verse my mother taught me as a little girl and one that has brought me such comfort through many fearful times--

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Why is it that I have such a difficult time keeping my mind on Him and trusting in His sovereignty? He holds my children's lives. His hand is cupped beneath the belly of the plane as we fly. Nothing happens without His saying so.

    I felt the anxiety melt away and the warmth that comes from trusting a friend overtake me. I sat back and, as I had many times prior to this trip, asked the Lord to protect this team, protect my family, and to use this experience to teach me many wonderful things about Himself. I thought the journey of learning would begin when we reached camp, but it really began the minute I stepped outside of my front door and headed on this faith journey. You see, my world is small and I have created it that way. I drove each and every nail into the comfort zone erected to keep me from trusting. I've built it so high that I can no longer remember what it feels like to peek out and meet people unlike myself. I've built it so thick that it insulates me from feeling dependent on the Lord and vulnerable with Him. I wanted this missions experience as much for myself as for the Czech people. We're really not that different, the Czechs and I--we both think we don't need a Savior. Lord, help our unbelief!

A Journey

Refer back, if you would, to my initial post entitled "So you think you can blog?" Apparently, I can't ....at least not consistently anyway. The writing part comes easily for me, but I don't naturally walk around with my camera waiting for a photo op. And so many precious moments slip by, stored in my mind (which is fading everyday) instead of documented forever. I'm going to try and be better about capturing the images of this journey we're on. A journey that is constantly changing paths.
The past year has been up and down. A new house. Brent makes partner at his firm.  A difficult diagnosis of a chronic back problem. A suspicious mammogram. A car accident. Tornadoes strike. The Lord delivers relief to me and I exhale the breath of thankfulness. I'm going to the Czech Republic! Friends marry. Babies are welcomed. Rejoicing. Suffering is still worn on the faces of those around me. Pain is still the reminder that this is not our home. And through it all, the ups and downs, is the strongly rooted person of Christ. He stands with His arms outstretched to the side, acting one day as a buffer and the next as a Father waiting to embrace.
 There's no photograph that can capture the internal change of my heart over the past year. It's still a heart blackened by sin, but softened by a realization of God's mercy and grace to me, His daughter. It's a heart that is beginning to break for the things that break His. It's a heart that is beginning to surrender to what the Lord has for me in life. Another journey begins.
 I've posted before of our desire for more children. It's a desire that will go unfulfilled, at least biologically anyway due to the instability of my back. Another down moment. But the Lord dropped a seed in our hearts months ago and has been cultivating it ever so slowly. The heart that has always said no to adoption is now saying yes. We can never fully understand the Lord's ways and how this seed has come to grow so strong remains a mystery. But here we stand, aching for a child and knowing that adoption is the cure.
 In the recent months, we have applied for a Chinese adoption through All God's Children International adoption agency in Oregon. We are waiting for our official review next week where we will hopefully be approved and be able to move on to our home study. A particular young Chinese beauty of a boy captured our hearts and we were taking steps towards adopting him specifically. However, yesterday we learned that another family was ahead of us in the process and secured him first. Heartbreak. Through the tears, I do feel the Lord working. I absolutely know that He has a plan for us and I'm going to walk towards it trying not to grieve what I had chosen for myself, but joyfully anticipate what He has chosen for me instead.
So journey with us through the journey of adoption. I promise it will be a difficult one as it has already proven to be. But I also promise that God will find a way to bring glory to Himself and isn't that what all the journeys of life are ultimately about? Deep breath. Bring on the ups and downs. Bring on another cuteness!

Benjamin slides into three!

    Well, I'm obviously not going to win "The Most Consistent Blogger" award this year. Life has been consuming lately with a stomach bug (x3), the constant physical therapy appointments, field trips, a mammogram scare, and a very unwelcomed car accident. But God is faithful. I have felt His hand on my back through it all and so I continue to walk through each day, thankful for a God who said He would never leave me nor forsake me. He never has.
    Today I want to share with you a little bit about Ben, our third child who just turned three. When we found out we were pregnant again, I just knew it was a boy. I bought boy clothes and scrolled through male names long before that all-telling ultrasound. It never even entered my mind that it could be a girl. And after two girls, I was ready for trucks, dirt, and noise. I smile when I look back on my life and see how God always proves Himself faithful in delivering to me just what I need. I needed a Ben.
    He came into our family and tipped everything upside down....and if you know me at all, you know that I don't like "upside down". He was a tough baby. He cried a lot and slept very little. It was a full year before that child slept through the night and even longer for me. I found myself really struggling for joy in motherhood because I was just plain exhausted. He ate constantly and when I read in the Bible that the tribe of Benjamin was described as being "ravenous wolves," I smiled that God had led us to that name. I think drinking a 12oz bottle certainly qualifies as being ravenous!! It took a long time for myself to return and for Ben to settle into anything of a predictable baby....but oh when he did. The rewards were great.

 He's just one hundred percent joy and energy....with a really large dose of sweetness thrown in. He's very affectionate and I love that at three years old, he still asks to be rocked before bedtime. He's generous with his hugs and kisses and the girls adore him. Trust me when I say that the feeling is mutual. And yes, he's flushed three bars of soap down the toilet and stuck Wheat Thins in Daddy's dvd player, but those experiences have loosened me up and taught me to laugh (note: it doesn't mean I wasn't MAD at the time). It's hard to imagine that there was ever a time without Ben in our lives.

 For his birthday, we partied with friends at Pump-It-Up, a virtual kid-zone of inflatables where kids (and adults) go wild. We had an awesome time as evidenced by  these pictures.

 Think back to the story of Joseph. Joseph has risen to power despite being sold by his brothers and now there is famine in the land. Having heard that there is grain for sale, Jacob sends out his remaining sons to go purchase some food...all except Benjamin. Benjamin was the youngest of all, the second son of Rachel, Jacob's beloved, and the favorite of his father since he thought Joseph was dead. But when his brothers appear before him, Joseph calls for the presence of Benjamin--wanting to see if they have done to Benjamin what was done to him. They return with Benjamin and it's his sack in which Joseph puts his cup to test if these brothers have infact changed their ways and become honest followers of the Lord. Jacob fears that he will never see his son again and it's Judah who says to old Israel, "I will be a pledge of his safty. From my hand you will require him," (Genesis 49:27). As Russell D. Moore writes in his book Adopted for Life, "Benjamin, after all, didn't return home to Jacob because of his own power. Only the trube of Judah could save him, a tribe that brought forth to us its final son, Our Lord Jesus." It is our life-long prayer that our Benjamin grows up to life in the house of Judah.